The Definitive NBA Preview – You Don’t Even Have to Watch the Games

121210092244-nba-logo-wordmark-275-wide.story-topThe NBA season starts on October 29th, and I’m sure you’re very excited to finally watch professional basketball again, but who has the patience to wait for the end of the season to find out what happens?  Not me, so that’s why I’m going to tell you what’s going to happen this year in the Association and you don’t even have to watch any games or wait till June! I’m going to tell you who’s going to win every major award, who’s going to win the NBA Championship, and much, much more (Okay, a little bit more)!

Defensive Player of the Year: Joakim Noah

Last year Noah finished fourth in Defensive Player of the Year voting, but beat out the winner, Marc Gasol, for a spot on the All-Defensive 1st team, which just shows how dumb the voting for these awards is.  Making this even more impressive, Noah was injured for a good portion of the season last year, and if he can stay healthy for the whole year this season, I see no reason why he can’t win this year.

6th Man of the Year-Jamal Crawford

Jamal Crawford finished 2nd in last year’s voting to JR Smith.  I don’t see JR Smith repeating because of all that JR Smith has ever done throughout his career.  Other than Smith, Crawford’s biggest competition was Jarrett Jack, who will probably be a starter for much of the year in Cleveland, which would hurt his status as a “sixth man.”

Most Improved Player- John Wall

Since he got into the league, John Wall has shown flashes of brilliance, but has not been able to keep up an All-Star level of play for an extended period of time.  This is the year I think Wall finally breaks through and makes the All-Star team.  The Wizards look like they could have a chance to make the playoffs and if they do, Wall will need to be the best player on the team by far.  And I think that with the improved supporting cast, an 80 million dollar vote of confidence from the ownership and another year of growth Wall will make the leap and lead the Wizards to the playoffs, make the All-Star game, and win Most Improved Player

Executive of the Year- Drake

I don’t know if you heard, but Drake is now an executive for the Raptors, so why not give it to him?  Seriously, can you name who won last year’s executive of the year? No, and neither can I or anyone who didn’t win NBA Executive of the year last year.  But, I would be able to say who won the NBA Executive of the Year last year if it was rapper/person with lots of feelings, Aubrey Graham.  And, if Drake won Executive of the Year then Kanye would get mad and start working for the Bulls and he would win it next year because Kanye wins everything and then I would get to see Yeezus give a speech at the NBA awards ceremony and it would give him something to brag about, finally.  A vote for Drake is a vote for Yeezus.  Don’t ruin this for me, NBA.

Sportsmanship Award- Kevin Garnett


Most Valuable Player-LeBron James

Do I really need to explain this?  He’s the most dominant two-way player I’ve ever seen, coming off arguably his best season showing no signs of slowing down.  Plus, after last season’s post season where he showed he can play with or without a headband, he’s shown he’s even more versatile than we thought.  As far as I can tell his only flaw on a basketball court is that he practices while listening to Imagine Dragons. 

2013-2014 NBA Champions-Miami Heat

Who’s going to beat them?  I think their biggest challengers are actually in their own conference with the Chicago Bulls who with the defensive capabilities to slow them down and Derrick Rose returning they might be able to hang with them offensively as well.  But, not really.  LeBron is simply too dominant right now, and with solid contributions from role players such as Chris Andersen, Shane Battier, Udonis Haslem, Greg Oden!?, and Ray Allen they usually only need one big game between Wade and Bosh per game.  Their biggest weakness is interior defending and scoring, but much of the league cannot exploit that, or is simply not good enough for it to make a difference.  Especially with having Andersen there for the full year and the potential of minor contributions from Oden, they could actually be better in terms of defending and scoring in the low post.

Booby Prize (Worst Record)- Philadelphia 76ers

Sorry Sixers fans, but they’re going to be pretty terrible this year.  They traded away their best player after not being particularly good last year.  The good news is that this is intentional and they’re tanking with a plan to get a top 3 pick this year so they have a chance to compete for a title in the upcoming years.  The bad news is that you have to watch it.

 By Nick Gill ’17

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